Myth #1: “You can include anything you want in a prenup.”
Reality: This is false.
California law places clear limits on what can be included in a prenuptial agreement. A prenup cannot contain provisions that are against public policy or “promotive of dissolution,” meaning clauses that incentivize divorce or punish one spouse for ending the marriage.
Importantly, prenups cannot address issues involving children, including:
- Child custody
- Child visitation
- Child support
Custody decisions must always be based on the child’s best interests at the time of separation—not on agreements made years earlier. Child support must meet, at a minimum, California’s guideline amount, and spouses cannot contract around that requirement.
Some clauses frequently discussed online—such as “cheating clauses” or highly punitive provisions—are often unenforceable and can create a false sense of security if not carefully reviewed.
Myth #2: “Getting a prenup means you expect the marriage to fail.”
Reality: A prenup does not cause divorce—marriage does.
Approximately half of marriages end in divorce. No one enters a marriage expecting that outcome, but that reality exists regardless of whether a couple signs a prenup. A prenuptial agreement does not make divorce more likely; it simply provides a framework if the marriage does end.
A prenup is a planning tool, not a prediction. It is no different in concept from insurance or estate planning—both of which are widely accepted as responsible, not pessimistic.
Myth #3: “A prenup replaces a will or estate plan.”
Reality: A prenup and an estate plan serve different legal purposes.
A marriage can end in one of two ways: divorce or death.
- If a marriage ends in divorce, a prenuptial agreement governs the division of assets.
- If a marriage ends due to death, your estate plan—such as a will or trust—controls where your assets go.
Prenups do not replace wills or trusts, and the two documents have different legal requirements. For example, wills must meet specific execution formalities, such as witnessing, that prenups do not.
That said, prenups and estate planning can work together. A properly drafted prenup can prevent the creation of a community estate, allowing spouses greater flexibility in how they leave assets to heirs through their estate plan.
Myth #4: “We don’t need a prenup because we trust each other completely.”
Reality: Trust today does not exempt anyone from human nature.
Most people fully trust their spouse when they get married. It would be unusual to marry someone you didn’t. But trust alone cannot account for how people change over time.
When I practiced divorce law, the most common thing I heard from clients—many married for decades—was that they felt they were divorcing a completely different person than the one they married. Financial stress, life changes, illness, resentment, and conflict can all alter dynamics in ways no one anticipates.
Conflict over money, in particular, can escalate dramatically. I have seen couples litigate over matters that once seemed trivial. A prenup does not assume bad intent—it acknowledges that people, circumstances, and relationships evolve.
Myth #5: “We don’t need a prenup because we don’t have any assets.”
Reality: Prenups are about future assets, not just present ones.
There is a common misconception that prenups are only for the wealthy. In reality, prenuptial agreements are designed to address how marital property will be divided—much of which does not exist at the time of marriage.
Earnings, retirement accounts, real estate, business interests, and debt acquired during marriage are typically community property in California. A prenup helps couples decide in advance how those future assets and obligations will be handled.
Even if you have little now, it is impossible to predict what you or your spouse may earn, inherit, or acquire over the course of a long marriage.
Bonus Myth: “A prenup makes divorce easy, so people are more likely to leave.”
Reality: Divorce is never easy—prenup or not.
While a prenup can significantly reduce the time, cost, and uncertainty of the legal process, it does not eliminate the emotional or procedural realities of divorce. Couples must still file court documents, exchange financial disclosures, retain attorneys, and wait the mandatory six-month period for a divorce to be finalized.
I have never had a client say they divorced because it was “easy” due to a prenup. I have had many say—during a difficult divorce—that they wish they had signed one.
Final Thoughts
Understanding what a prenuptial agreement can—and cannot—do is essential to making informed decisions about your future. Prenups are not about planning for failure; they are about clarity, transparency, and reducing unnecessary conflict if the unexpected occurs.
When drafted thoughtfully and in compliance with California law, a prenup can protect both spouses and provide peace of mind as a marriage begins.
If you have questions about prenuptial agreements or want to understand how they work in California, professional guidance can make all the difference.
