Valentine’s Day is full of grand gestures — roses, candlelit dinners, surprise getaways. But if you really want to make a bold declaration of love this year, consider something less obvious:
A prenuptial agreement.
Yes, really.
Before you roll your eyes, hear me out.
Romance Isn’t Just About Optimism — It’s About Intention
Recent news coverage has highlighted a shift: younger couples are increasingly choosing prenuptial agreements, not because they expect divorce, but because they want clarity. Millennials and Gen Z, in particular, are normalizing financial transparency before marriage.
That’s not cynical. That’s intentional.
Marriage is both emotional and legal. It’s a partnership of hearts — and also assets, debts, businesses, retirement accounts, intellectual property, inheritances, and future earnings. Pretending otherwise isn’t romantic. It’s avoidant.
Choosing to discuss those realities before marriage says:
“I love you enough to plan responsibly.”
That’s not unromantic. That’s mature.
A Prenup Is a Conversation, Not a Prediction
One of the biggest misconceptions is that a prenup signals doubt. In reality, it signals communication.
A well-drafted prenuptial agreement requires couples to talk about:
- Existing assets and debts
- Financial goals
- Career plans
- Business ownership
- Expectations about inheritance
- How income and savings will be handled during marriage
These conversations are often more revealing — and more bonding — than a tasting menu or engagement party.
And here’s the truth: if you can’t talk about money before marriage, it will be significantly harder to talk about it during marriage.
In California, the Law Has a Plan for You — Whether You Make One or Not
If you marry in California without a prenup, you are automatically opting into the state’s community property system.
That means, generally speaking:
- Earnings during marriage are jointly owned.
- Assets acquired during marriage are jointly owned.
- Certain debts can be jointly owed.
This isn’t good or bad — it’s simply the default. But it may not reflect your personal goals, especially if one spouse owns a business, expects a significant inheritance, or plans to leave the workforce temporarily.
A prenup doesn’t mean “I’m planning for divorce.”
It means “We’re choosing our own rules instead of relying on the default.”
That’s autonomy. That’s partnership.
A Good Prenup Protects Both People
The most important point: a prenup should not be one-sided.
Courts scrutinize prenuptial agreements carefully. To be enforceable, they must meet strict requirements — including full financial disclosure, voluntary execution, and (in most cases) independent counsel for each party.
A thoughtfully drafted agreement can:
- Protect a premarital business
- Clarify separate vs. community property
- Address debt allocation
- Set expectations regarding spousal support
- Reduce uncertainty in the unlikely event of divorce
Done properly, it provides peace of mind — not leverage.
It’s Actually an Act of Care
Here’s the part people don’t say out loud:
Divorce is expensive. Litigation is emotionally exhausting. Uncertainty makes conflict worse.
A prenup can significantly reduce that uncertainty.
You’re not planning to fail. You’re removing the risk that, if things ever did go wrong, one of you would be financially destabilized or forced into a drawn-out legal battle.
It’s saying:
“No matter what happens in life, I don’t want either of us destroyed by it.”
That’s not anti-romance. That’s compassion.
The Real Green Flag
In a world where financial stress is one of the leading causes of marital conflict, the couples who talk openly about money before marriage are often the ones setting themselves up for stronger foundations.
So this Valentine’s Day, alongside the ring, the trip, or the champagne — consider the conversation.
Because sometimes the most romantic choice isn’t the one that looks good on Instagram.
It’s the one that builds security, trust, and clarity for decades to come.
And that? That’s real love.
